sex

Brave Enough to Change the Worlds of Business & Sex by sciarra

 I was recently A guest poster for MAKE LOVE NOT PORN.

headed by Cindy Gallop and curated by her Madam Curator, Sarah Beall. 

I chose to focus on the business of the sex industry and how my work here intersects with the financial, technological, and social issues at play.  


An excerpt: 

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I am an analyst turned hustler, and a…Mistress. My work presides at the intersection of financial technology, psychology, behavioral economics…and, the dark pool of the adult industry. I am the proprietress of BardotSmith.com and Mistres.se, a think tank and advisory firm for the intersection of adult industry and financial technology.
At the beginning of operating this enterprise, I chose to embody the ideals of feminine power at all levels of my existence, up to and including my business model. In effect, reversing the concepts of supply and demand in the adult industry to challenge the notion that women who work in any type of “adult” context are only able to operate as a result of male desire, and therefore subject to male power hierarchies, even within the industry.
From the outset, I adopted a unique strategy.

To read the rest of my thoughts on #SEXTECH and the business of KINK, FETISH, and FINANCE, read the full article on their blog. 

If you're not familiar with the MLNP project, it is worthy of the investment of time. Female-powered and innovative, challenging old world views of power, sex, and capital...Just how I like it. 

xo, Bardot. 

Tinder and Little Boys' Toys. by sciarra

The State of Tech right now is dire. Here's why.

[Please note, this analysis is not complete, open to conversation on it. Some initial, informal thoughts on the industry. Though, my time is at my own discretion, naturally...]

These thoughts are in reference to the *most* recent examples of misogyny and immaturity on behalf of a founder, Tinder's co-founder Justin Mateen and his dust-up with ex-girlfriend and ousted co-founder Whitney Wolfe. But they are certainly not isolated or applicable only to this instance. 

The issue of sexism in tech is not simply of management. The implications are far broader reaching due to the sheer number of people using products. The potential for global reach is not uncommon or unrealistic.

Much of it has been internalized. But unless you're completely unaware and sycophantic, it's nearly impossibly unpleasant to work in or around tech if you're a woman. Especially if you are an alpha....The disrespect of females at large is so engrained that we refuse to even address it as anything other than "natural." It's evident not only in the culture but its produce. 

Apps like tinder. Where women are encouraged to essentially offer themselves up as commodities. And, before you offer the argument that "men do the same thing." Please consider why men are on the app, and if they'd be there if the women were not. Thanks. 

And we are socially conditioned to consider this a success because of its steep user acquisition. But it's socially destructive and run -- like much of techs "successes" -- by manchildren with controlling and abusive tendencies. 

By viewing this as a personal exception (i.e. "He's just a jerk!") we fail to understand that the belief systems at play are responsible for the dynamics of the apps themselves. They are engineered to be in the interest of their creators and those like them. (Here: Beta males who need a shortcut to sex). 

Achieving market relevance is not sufficient proof that one is capable of sitting at the helm of a business that impacts a major segment of the population. The psychological maturity of men in their 20s is not developed, and this is yet another example, not an exception. 

In the past, younger men were initiated into the world of business by older, more experienced men. The ease of building and deploying apps has made it possible to skip this part of traditional career trajectory. Not entirely a bad thing for commerce, but a very nefarious influence in the social development of the industry itself. 

In my opinion, female leadership is resisted precisely because it is potent. But because it cannot be resisted in a direct manner, women are constantly met with passive-aggressive character assassination and resentment. It would be funny if it weren't so fucking common. 

The underlying psychodynamics of these situations are rarely addressed. They're responsible and explanatory of the behavior. But they're also kryptonite to the self-referential wonderland that tech has become. Micro-scale disturbances bubbling up to macro-scale events.

From my perspective, they are difficult to ignore. The center will not hold... 

Alpha Status - The Vocabulary of Identity by sciarra

Humans are social creatures. But how you see yourself with respect to the pack makes all the difference. 

What is the nature of the Alpha? 


With the proliferation of the underworld thanks to the internet, themes emerge. And with themes come assumptions and misconception. The number of individuals who are touched in some way by fetishism and expressions of alternate sexual identity is rising. While expansion is is a beautiful thing, it also ( by definition) introduces complexity to a system. In an effort to stem the inevitable tide of entropy, I offer my perspective on popular points of confusion. 

This is the vocabulary of identity. 


Despite mainstream assertions, Society will never be classless. Stratification is real, acknowledged or not.

Previous to the advent of the web, it was easier to see the contours of classes, while seeing into them was a more difficult task. Increased transparency at the hands of omnipresent media has created the illusion of a more flattened society. Where the platforms and infrastructure necessary to propagate ideas were once more tightly held by the ruling class, social media and the relative cheapness of web development have drastically lowered the barrier of entry for individuals with social purpose or agenda.

But this is far from equivalent to leveling the playing field.  The effects are double-edged: 

  • Channels open to Ideas that would previously have little to no chance of reaching public consciousness, and
  • Increased clutter and conceptual replica. 

The arm swings both ways. It's no more evident in an arena where there's money to be made and won such as financial domination. As the fetish itself breaches mainstream consciousness, the influx of interest and participation can be understood with a simple search on twitter for #findom. 

The array of results will fall into several categories. Established practitioners adapting their presences to the web, new entrants focusing on carving niches for themselves, and a herd of replicas in their likeness. In a game where individuality makes all the difference, the use of vocabulary and syntax in communication can be particularly useful as a divining rod. 

Today, the term Alpha. 

To conflate "dominance" with "alpha" status is tempting. At face value, the share some similarities. However, in both theory and practical application, they are independent axes. 

The axis dominant/submissive requires relationship to be defined. While alpha/beta status is an identifier that can be applied to individuals themselves.

A beta individual can be dominant in relation to other betas, for example. While one may be categorically dominant or submissive, the exercise of that status does not manifest completely except in relation to the complement.

The axis Alpha/beta, however, is status-independent. In terms of social organization, an Alpha will default to lead over betas, whether the betas identify as dominant or submissive. Their power is intrinsic and a result of an internal locus of control. Their self-concept is not inspired by relation to others. Therefore, the mark of an Alpha is independence and self-mastery. 

In the social context, both males and females can be alpha. Though the natural alpha female is comparatively rare and behaves differently than her male counterpart, leveraging a different array of skills and talents.  

Alphas are naturally designed to sit atop the social hierarchy due to the strength inherent in their presence. 

Self-mastery on the Order of the Alpha is formidable. For that reason, interacting with an alpha can be a thrilling and mind-expanding experience. You will see that the most elite circles are occupied almost exclusively by natural Alphas. This is true across industry and interest, which is why you will see social (and sexual) overlap at the top. 

The clarity of Mind that comes from inner peace and confidence gives them the perception to navigate any circumstance. For this reason, they will always find their way to the forefront of their chosen fields and social groupings. They are unstoppable. 

Regardless of sexual or relationship proclivities -- which are frankly more fluid in this echelon -- Alphas run society. And you were wondering how it could be so simple for me to penetrate your mind? We are wolves, yet. 

So despite the increased insistence that we live in a classless society, increased transparency has only clarified the true Nature of the stratifications. It was never about wealth and power. Though those naturally follow social dominance. (To the Victor, goes the Spoils.) Instead...

Alpha status has always and will forever be a matter of mastery. 

Now. bow down. 
xo, Bardot. 


Hello. I am Bardot. by sciarra

A just-less-than-thirty year old alpha. A slightly twisted domina, and tamed by an occasional wolf.

My favorite vanilla skills include business, finance, and hypnotism (go figure). 

I am naturally dominant and love the challenge of breaking-in men who don’t want to conform to the nagging feeling that they know deep in their hearts to be true…I equally enjoy the rare gentlemen who merits time with Me in other contexts. 

In short, I enjoy every moment of my life, in whatever form. Labels are a bitch, and so am i. Read between the lines. 

You may rule the public world, but in private, things are different.

In personal interactions, you exist to amuse and delight, gentlemen. Once you realize that, you are free. Freedom to pursue total and perfect service to a superior woman is one of the most admirable decisions that a male can make in his lifetime. It is the ultimate purpose. 

I am a female sovereign for those who understand my intrinsic and cultivated value. In short, I will have absolutely no hesitation in reminding you where I stand in these engagements. My focus on you comes at a premium. I do not charge for a service, but for making my time available.

And let’s face it: Regardless of who you are, you’re not nearly strong enough to resist. So let’s get on with it, shall we? 

worship, and obey.