psychology

Dominant vs. Dominate - The Vocabulary of Identity /  by sciarra

Dominant is a status. Dominate is an action.

With the proliferation of the underworld thanks to the internet, themes emerge. And with themes come assumptions and misconception. The number of individuals who are touched in some way by fetishism and expressions of alternate sexual identity is rising. While expansion is a beautiful thing, it also ( by definition) introduces complexity to a system. In an effort to stem the inevitable tide of entropy, I offer my perspective on popular points of confusion. 

This is the vocabulary of identity. 

Dominance. 

Some of the most egregious misconceptions center on the concept of dominance. There are no hard and fast rules for what contributes to the presence of a FemDom. Dominance sits at the nexus of her carriage and her attributes. How she expresses her value to the world. 

Dominance is also not inherently linked to sadism, just as not all submissives are inherently masochistic. These status identities are merely a reflection of the presence and natural proclivities of the individual. 

 In essence, dominance is a state of being; it is not an act. 

Dominate / Domination.

Domination is more performative. There are, of course, multiple ways to approach this task, from traditional bondage, interrogation and mind control, sensuality, etc. Its efficacy depends on the charisma and confidence of the domme, naturally. 

A domme may use subtle methods of domination in the world at large, but the idea that a domme is constantly marauding and domineering is a complete misconception. In my own opinion, bratty and manipulative behavior is a sign of insecurity, rather than dominance. I enjoy the natural interplay of energy more than scenes, games, etc.

Besides tangles are best enjoyed consensually, individually, privately. Though, my penchant for efficiency does make me a terrifyingly deserving rinser for those so inclined. (And, if that's you, you know it's only a matter of time, darling. I will see you soon.)

lady.jpg

The dynamics at play in the microcosm are merely a distillation of the unspoken dynamics apparent in society at large. 

In the world, you would find me relatively mysterious, with calm reserve. A beautiful and dynamic woman, poised and confident. I choose to share My presence and fetishism with individuals who are like-minded.  

Of course, opening up your presence to a broader environment requires aggression in term-setting. My attitude reflects the strictness of my standards. My insight and leadership are reserved for those who avail themselves to it through demonstrated understanding and respect.

I choose to capitalize my time and attention as a reflection of the dynamics of supply and demand. It's my prerogative to do so in whatever manner makes sense for the individual and engagement. How you are greeted is a function of your energy, and your approach. Do you now understand?

Concisely, I spin a web. 

I will not tell you where the snares lie, only that they exist. Engineered and executed masterfully. And, if this resonates, it is no accident.  

xo, Bardot. 

PS - For more, follow me on twitter. 

American Mistress. /  by sciarra

You may know me. I am am a Mistress. Sovereign.

And, despite pageantry and many overwrought notions and confusions, what this means is that I belong to no man and I rest in no city. 

from 'rock and roll night club' only you, only you, only you can treat me like you do and only she, only she, only she chose me when i'm blue so sorry, boo, we're through i'm done getting over her i'm done getting over her my hands hurt, i think

Having navigated a course through some of the grittiest male-dominated environments, I have run the risk of sacrificing femininity in order to be considered viable professionally. In these worlds, being attractive is a double-edged blade. Leverage attraction and walk the line between objectification and advantage. Playing down attraction has its own set of risks, and conveys less upside.

I don't play games that i can't win. 

Earlier in my career, My natural sexual and social dominance frequently disarmed (or upset) my male superiors. I began my career in the pre-crash private equity landscape. The Wild West.

The men whom I worked with could be categorized in two ways: Brilliant and misunderstood alpha males. And the others slightly more bitter drones, the betas, who would never achieve the pinnacle of success in the industry. They lacked that je ne sais quoi. The distinctions were obvious to Me, even as a 22 year-old, and they would be to anyone with passing interest in power dynamics.  

Representing not only intellectual force, but having the distinct advantage of sexual magnetism, I was a direct threat to the latter category. And a thrill to the former. 

I enjoyed my unspoken role as a crowbar. I grew into My social position.

Front row seats to the American Financial Apocalypse and a World Class education in owning the minds of men. In the proverbial American West, there are no rules. The one Law is "Do what must be done." There is no refuge for the weak. 

As I became more experienced in my Power, I naturally moved into more esoteric chains of industry where my skills are properly leveraged. It's only natural that I have been tasked with carving out a completely singular niche. My natural abilities and evident status have rendered it impossible for Me to live a prescribed life.

I live a freedom not available or fathomable to most. I hold the key to your most profound fantasies and your most-concealed fears. But, I enjoy the company of men only on My own terms. The most-deserving relish their role in My life as servants, benefactors, or fellow wolves with which to run.

My Continuous Dynamic Equilibrium. 

I straddle the line between the demimonde and the mainstream world on a daily basis. It's part of what creates a sizzling edge to all of my interactions with men. It's part of what gives me perspective to both sides of the table (if you will). For this reason, I specialize in discrete, bespoke arrangements. 

The missing element in your existence. The edge. Nature.

Order out of Chaos. 


Stunning, isn't it?
xo, Bardot. 

Tinder and Little Boys' Toys. /  by sciarra

The State of Tech right now is dire. Here's why.

[Please note, this analysis is not complete, open to conversation on it. Some initial, informal thoughts on the industry. Though, my time is at my own discretion, naturally...]

These thoughts are in reference to the *most* recent examples of misogyny and immaturity on behalf of a founder, Tinder's co-founder Justin Mateen and his dust-up with ex-girlfriend and ousted co-founder Whitney Wolfe. But they are certainly not isolated or applicable only to this instance. 

The issue of sexism in tech is not simply of management. The implications are far broader reaching due to the sheer number of people using products. The potential for global reach is not uncommon or unrealistic.

Much of it has been internalized. But unless you're completely unaware and sycophantic, it's nearly impossibly unpleasant to work in or around tech if you're a woman. Especially if you are an alpha....The disrespect of females at large is so engrained that we refuse to even address it as anything other than "natural." It's evident not only in the culture but its produce. 

Apps like tinder. Where women are encouraged to essentially offer themselves up as commodities. And, before you offer the argument that "men do the same thing." Please consider why men are on the app, and if they'd be there if the women were not. Thanks. 

And we are socially conditioned to consider this a success because of its steep user acquisition. But it's socially destructive and run -- like much of techs "successes" -- by manchildren with controlling and abusive tendencies. 

By viewing this as a personal exception (i.e. "He's just a jerk!") we fail to understand that the belief systems at play are responsible for the dynamics of the apps themselves. They are engineered to be in the interest of their creators and those like them. (Here: Beta males who need a shortcut to sex). 

Achieving market relevance is not sufficient proof that one is capable of sitting at the helm of a business that impacts a major segment of the population. The psychological maturity of men in their 20s is not developed, and this is yet another example, not an exception. 

In the past, younger men were initiated into the world of business by older, more experienced men. The ease of building and deploying apps has made it possible to skip this part of traditional career trajectory. Not entirely a bad thing for commerce, but a very nefarious influence in the social development of the industry itself. 

In my opinion, female leadership is resisted precisely because it is potent. But because it cannot be resisted in a direct manner, women are constantly met with passive-aggressive character assassination and resentment. It would be funny if it weren't so fucking common. 

The underlying psychodynamics of these situations are rarely addressed. They're responsible and explanatory of the behavior. But they're also kryptonite to the self-referential wonderland that tech has become. Micro-scale disturbances bubbling up to macro-scale events.

From my perspective, they are difficult to ignore. The center will not hold... 

Processing. /  by sciarra

Imagine walking up. I am seated at a table. In public. Outside. 

half agony.jpg

Now you are Bowing. 

Transaction briskly Handled. Cash on the table. 

And without a word,

Her eyes sear into your plasma.

You are sent off. With no hope of forgetting. 

 

You crawl away.

Depleted. Rinsed. 

Did anyone notice? 

Do you even exist? 


 

xo, Bardot. 

If you've become addicted to My presence yet too fearful to approach, tribute by using Square Cash to email labardotsmith [at] gmail.com or visit My Fetish Shop. 

Alpha Status - The Vocabulary of Identity /  by sciarra

Humans are social creatures. But how you see yourself with respect to the pack makes all the difference. 

What is the nature of the Alpha? 

With the proliferation of the underworld thanks to the internet, themes emerge. And with themes come assumptions and misconception. The number of individuals who are touched in some way by fetishism and expressions of alternate sexual identity is rising. While expansion is is a beautiful thing, it also ( by definition) introduces complexity to a system. In an effort to stem the inevitable tide of entropy, I offer my perspective on popular points of confusion. 

This is the vocabulary of identity. ​

Despite mainstream assertions, Society will never be classless. Stratification is real, acknowledged or not.

Previous to the advent of the web, it was easier to see the contours of classes, while seeing into them was a more difficult task. Increased transparency at the hands of omnipresent media has created the illusion of a more flattened society. Where the platforms and infrastructure necessary to propagate ideas were once more tightly held by the ruling class, social media and the relative cheapness of web development have drastically lowered the barrier of entry for individuals with social purpose or agenda.

But this is far from equivalent to leveling the playing field.  The effects are double-edged: 

  • Channels open to Ideas that would previously have little to no chance of reaching public consciousness, and
  • Increased clutter and conceptual replica. 

The arm swings both ways. It's no more evident in an arena where there's money to be made and won such as financial domination. As the fetish itself breaches mainstream consciousness, the influx of interest and participation can be understood with a simple search on twitter for #findom. 

The array of results will fall into several categories. Established practitioners adapting their presences to the web, new entrants focusing on carving niches for themselves, and a herd of replicas in their likeness. In a game where individuality makes all the difference, the use of vocabulary and syntax in communication can be particularly useful as a divining rod. 

Today, the term Alpha. 

To conflate "dominance" with "alpha" status is tempting. At face value, the share some similarities. However, in both theory and practical application, they are independent axes. 

The axis dominant/submissive requires relationship to be defined. While alpha/beta status is an identifier that can be applied to individuals themselves.

A beta individual can be dominant in relation to other betas, for example. While one may be categorically dominant or submissive, the exercise of that status does not manifest completely except in relation to the complement.

The axis Alpha/beta, however, is status-independent. In terms of social organization, an Alpha will default to lead over betas, whether the betas identify as dominant or submissive. Their power is intrinsic and a result of an internal locus of control. Their self-concept is not inspired by relation to others. Therefore, the mark of an Alpha is independence and self-mastery. 

In the social context, both males and females can be alpha. Though the natural alpha female is comparatively rare and behaves differently than her male counterpart, leveraging a different array of skills and talents.  

Alphas are naturally designed to sit atop the social hierarchy due to the strength inherent in their presence. 

Self-mastery on the Order of the Alpha is formidable. For that reason, interacting with an alpha can be a thrilling and mind-expanding experience. You will see that the most elite circles are occupied almost exclusively by natural Alphas. This is true across industry and interest, which is why you will see social (and sexual) overlap at the top. 

The clarity of Mind that comes from inner peace and confidence gives them the perception to navigate any circumstance. For this reason, they will always find their way to the forefront of their chosen fields and social groupings. They are unstoppable. 

Regardless of sexual or relationship proclivities -- which are frankly more fluid in this echelon -- Alphas run society. And you were wondering how it could be so simple for me to penetrate your mind? We are wolves, yet. 

So despite the increased insistence that we live in a classless society, increased transparency has only clarified the true Nature of the stratifications. It was never about wealth and power. Though those naturally follow social dominance. (To the Victor, goes the Spoils.) Instead...

Alpha status has always and will forever be a matter of mastery. 

Now. bow down. 
xo, Bardot. 

Your Undoing. /  by sciarra

You are...shaking. A loop plays over in your mind. Again... again... again...

Nerves? Exhilaration? Or the volatile reaction to my presence searing the edges of your consciousness? You never saw it coming.  

All the minute forces, the sticky glue that previously sustained your world disintegrating into the void. There is nothing to be done.

Your unraveling is inescapable. It's only just begun. The initiation is swift. Your trajectory is inevitable.

When I think of how your mind spins, the corners of my lips turn up. First one. Then the other.

Poor little creature. Welcome to your undoing. 

 

Two can play this game. 
xo, Bardot.